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You know you're getting old when you stop to think and forget to start again. |
"Inside every older person is a younger person...
wondering what the hell happened." |
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Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's over the hill I go. |
Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional. |
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| Breaking news: People-jack just invented!! Finally, a way to track the wanderers in your life. |
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Don't interupt me while I'm talking to myself. |
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50 year old; one owner; needs parts; make offer. |
I live in my own little world, but it's okay because they know me here. |
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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult. |
Happy birthday, you old bird! |
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It's not about age, it's about attitude. |
On your birthday: count your candles, count your years, count your blessings! |
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Then & Now
Then: Long hair.
Now: Longing for hair.
Then: Keg
Now: EKG.
Then: Acid rock
Now: Acid reflux.
Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
Now: Moving to California because it's warm.
Then: You're growing pot.
Now: You're growing a pot.
Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids.
Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
Then: Seeds and stems.
Now: Roughage.
Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now: Popping joints.
Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
Now: Our president's struggle with fidelity.
Then: Paar.
Now: AARP.
Then: Being caught with Hustler magazine.
Now: Being caught by Hustler magazine.
Then: Killer weed.
Now: Weed killer.
Then: Hoping for a BMW.
Now: Hoping for a BM.
Then: The Grateful Dead.
Now: Dr. Kevorkian.
Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
Now: Getting a new hip joint.
- Top -
And last, but not least....
The Cat in the Hat on Aging
I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh my God, what can I do?
My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My mood is bad - can you tell?
My body's drooping
Have trouble pooping
The Golden Years
have come at last
The Golden Years
Can kiss my ass.
- Top - |
